Alyssa & Chris’s story

Wedding Date: August 22,2009

Once upon a time a drummer and a fashion designer fell in love. and out of love. and in love again..and finally decided to keep it that way.

I met Chris, or Jager as everyone knows him, at a bar in Seattle. I walked in and saw this handsome tattooed man sitting at a bar chatting with a former member of Sound garden..I got butterflies instantly, although at the time I didn’t know they were butterflies and instead equated them to a buzz from the wine I’d had at dinner. My friend Kimberley whom I was with gave me the details.. “He’s got a girlfriend-she’s awesome, he9s really happy..don’t bother.” I thought “No harm in a proper introduction right?” So I introduced myself and decided right then and there (as cliché’ as it sounds) that this was the guy I was supposed to end up with. We chatted a bit and I left that night thinking what a lucky lady his girlfriend was (not knowing they weren’t together any longer) and went on about my life still thinking of him from time to time..

A few months passed and we bumped into each other again at another bar (Were not as lushy as this comes off..scouts honor) and we began a whirlwind romance instantly. It was the perfect recipe for love 2-parts crazy kids’ 1-part love. Everything we did, we did 100%. If we were going on a date to the horse races-we’d get fancied up, dressed to the nines. If we were going to a rock show, he’d get us back stage to party with the band. Nothing was half done, ever. It was picture perfect, fabulously fun and I was about to sabotage all of it because I was scared.

One day I decided it was too perfect and for fear of it all crashing down and ending up with a broken heart I put the kibosh on everything. I shut down shop on the Jager and Alyssa romance because I was afraid “that all good things must come to an end.” I didn’t want another broken heart, having survived a crushing blow to that big important  organ
already when my previous boyfriend jumped off a bridge in attempts at ending his life, ( side note: he survived and is getting the love and help he needs) so I bailed. He was devastated as was I and instead of trying to work it out we both got angry and spiteful and spent many months apart shooting daggers  out of our eyes at each other across the city, but all the while doing it out of fear and heartache, not hate.

In July 2008 I accompanied my grandmother to Norway where my family is from and stayed in the home my father was born in. He grew up in a quiet town with not very many people my age, so I used this time to slow down and reflect on the sudden halt of my relationship with Jager. I spent much of this time asking my grandmother many relationship questions in an attempt to find out what it takes to be happy and fearless with a partner. She gave me some of the greatest advice of my life and told me that life is scary, love is terrifying and commitment can be death sentence…but only if you let it. She told me that every day when I wake up I make choices, some of them good and some of them bad. Some you will learn lessons from and others you’ll brush off your shoulders like lint, be ok with all that life has to give you, and never  fight love with fear, instead welcome the opportunities, be brave, bold and fearless..and you will be a
happy person. She then asked if he snored to which I replied “No” and she said- well then he is a keeper! When we get home you need to put the puzzle back together in the right order.
So I did.

When I got home I called Jager up and we spent weeks talking about fear and why it’s so important to never borrow trouble from the future. We learned how to speak each other’s language in dealing with feelings, how to be good listeners, reassuring, compassionate and fearless companions. We also made a vow never to go to bed angry, always be open to the element of surprise and to live in the now instead of “borrowing trouble from the future.”

So here we are- a couple of crazy kids about to embark on a life together that statistics currently say should fail… but we won’t- because we’ve learned how to love genuinely, laugh immensely, and hi five at least once a day. I couldn’t imagine my life without him. He’s the most fun I’ve ever had -the greatest thing to ever happen to me, and with his love and companionship..I’ve got nothing to fear.